It’s a New Day

Whether we embrace it or run from it, change is inevitable. Every day we’re in a new arena. Funny enough, the things that change us the most are the ones we never really notice.

Two years ago, my life was a mess. I was trying to build a life I didn’t really want while still clinging to one I only wanted because it was familiar. Most of my time was spent drunk, stoned, and hating various aspects of myself. And yet through all this, I was reluctant to move out of my imposed masochism because the alternative was too scary. It required change. Like most things, though, when change is vitally necessary, we have little input on how or when it happens.

Somewhere in the past two years, I’ve turned into someone else. Grown up a bit more, though I realize there’s still a long way to go on that front. If we stop changing, we stagnate. The only way is to move forward. I’m about to start a great job in a city I love with the person I adore most. We’re house-hunting for a place with a nice kitchen and a yard and looking forward to dinner parties instead of going out to the club.

But if I try to pinpoint how that person two years ago turned into the one I am now, I can’t say exactly what changed it all. Yes, there’s been a lot of change in those two years. A few different jobs, moving a couple times, and of course, the lovely introduction of the Tophmonster, and I’m sure all of those things contributed to the change, but the real change happened on a day to day basis. Little things. Small shifts in priorities. My life has settled into a routine where the highlight of my day is beating my boyfriend at Scrabble, and it’s wonderful.

~ by Xan on Sunday. 1. April. 2007..